When Praise Feels Like Oxygen

Let’s get honest. The high from being praised can feel like fuel. You light up. You feel seen. You ride the wave of being affirmed, of someone finally naming your value.

But what happens when the applause dies down?

If your confidence crashes, if your clarity dissolves, if you feel like you’re back to square one… that wasn’t real confidence. That was the illusion of worth, propped up by external validation.

And if that’s your pattern, you’re not leading. You’re coping. Performing. Clinging to oxygen that was never meant to sustain you.

Confidence Isn’t Missing — You’ve Just Stopped Trusting Your Own Evidence

Many of the leaders I work with say, “I just need to find my confidence.” But confidence isn’t lost. And it’s not something you can download from someone else’s opinion.

According to The Being Profile®, developed by Ashkan Tashvir, a healthy relationship with Confidence means you’re able to act despite uncertainty. You don’t need to eliminate fear or have all the answers. You trust yourself to take the next step. To access the resources available. To follow through.

But if your internal narrative says: “I can only trust myself after someone else confirms I’m capable,” then your relationship with Confidence is conditional. Performative. And fragile.

You’re not missing some essential ingredient. You’re just not trusting your own access to it — to your clarity, your capability, your courage. It’s not lost. It’s just buried under years of deferring to others for confirmation.

The Real Cost of External Validation

When your sense of worth hinges on how others perceive you:

• You shape-shift in every room.

• You doubt your wins and dwell on your slips.

• You can’t feel fulfilled unless someone else tells you you’re enough.

This leads to a chronic disconnection from Authenticity. The Being Profile® defines a healthy relationship with Authenticity as the capacity to express and align with who you truly are—even in the face of disapproval. It’s not rebellion. It’s rootedness.

Without it, your leadership becomes a projection. Not a presence.

The Hidden Impact on Resourcefulness

Here’s what most don’t realise: When you’re stuck in approval-seeking, your Resourcefulness—the ability to access what’s available and respond effectively—takes a massive hit.

Why? Because your energy is going into managing impressions instead of managing impact. Because you hesitate, second-guess, and seek permission instead of taking clear, aligned action.

The Being Profile® names this clearly. When you’re over-reliant on external cues, you begin to perceive yourself as incapable, regardless of the evidence. And that perception drives ineffective behaviours that further confirm your doubts. It’s a loop. One that kills momentum and depletes confidence.

Let’s Talk About Over-Responsibility

Many high-performing professionals—especially women—carry an unhealthy relationship with Responsibility.

They interpret responsibility as: “It’s all on me. I have to hold it together. If something goes wrong, it’s my fault.”

But that’s not Responsibility. That’s control dressed up as care.

According to Ashkan Tashvir, A healthy relationship with Responsibility means recognising your capacity to influence outcomes while owning your choices and their consequences. It’s not about over-functioning or rescuing everyone else. It’s about leading with choice, not compulsion.

And here’s the punchline: You can’t be genuinely responsible to your role, your team, or your purpose… if you’re constantly abandoning yourself to maintain their approval.

The Approval-Impact Disconnect

Here’s what I want you to hear: You can’t create meaningful impact from the place of needing to be liked. Because every time you calibrate your self-worth to external approval, you diminish your ability to lead clearly, cleanly, and in alignment with what actually matters.

You’ll stay in reaction instead of Response. You’ll second-guess instead of initiate. You’ll stay small, even as you say you want to create change.

Final Word

External validation isn’t evil. We all want to be seen. But when your leadership depends on it, your impact suffers.

The Being Profile® doesn’t show you how to perform better. It shows you where your way of Being is aligned—or not—with the impact you say you want to have.

So if you’ve been:

• Rising and crashing based on feedback…

• Hiding behind confidence you don’t feel…

• Needing approval to feel like you matter…

It’s time to come back. To Confidence that lives within. To Authenticity that doesn’t require applause. To Resourcefulness that doesn’t wait for conditions to be perfect.

You don’t need to prove your worth. You need to relate to it.

Because when you do, your impact becomes inevitable.

Note: The Being Profile® is a registered trademark of Ashkan Tashvir and Engenesis. Learn more at beingprofile.com.