The word ‘authenticity’ is thrown around so often that it risks becoming just another corporate buzzword. As Oscar Wilde quipped, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” But what does being yourself really mean? Most dictionaries define authenticity as the quality of being authentic (reliable and trustworthy), genuine and true to oneself. At first glance, this seems straightforward: stay true to your values, express yourself honestly and embrace your individuality in both your personal and professional life. However, is it really that simple? And why do some workplaces still encourage employees to ‘fit in’ and adopt a persona—like there’s an unspoken sign at the door: ‘Leave the weird or unique parts of yourself here’, while others emphasise the importance of being authentic at work? In this article, I explore what it really means to be authentic at work, the struggle between fitting in and being ourselves and why developing personal and professional alignment in our authenticity takes time.
Mike Robbins champions authenticity, humility and vulnerability at work. He argues that thriving professionally requires the courage to take risks, speak up and allow ourselves to be truly seen. But not everyone agrees with him. Articles in The New York Times and Psychology Today caution against the risks of being too open, noting that not all aspects of our personalities belong at work. They argue that boundaries are essential for professionalism. After all, sharing everything—political beliefs, fears or inappropriate jokes—can create unnecessary friction. Their message is clear: be authentic, but also be mindful. In other words, authenticity isn’t an excuse for unacceptable or inappropriate behaviour. It’s not about being brash or unloading all your opinions under the guise of being yourself. We still need to show kindness, professionalism and self-awareness. And let’s admit it—everyone makes mistakes. I once managed an HR director who accidentally sent an email mocking the CEO to the entire company!
The push and pull between fitting in and being authentic at work
The struggle is real: we want to be authentic, but we also want to fit in and feel a sense of belonging in the workplace. Conforming may feel safer, especially in workplaces where standing out risks judgement or exclusion. But focusing too much on appearances—worrying about saying the 'right' thing or avoiding mistakes—limits our productivity and wellbeing.
Take my own experience. As a woman working in the male-dominated transportation industry, I adopted a persona to fit in. I ‘manned up’, wore a tie, swore and avoided showing vulnerability. I did what I assumed was expected, but it came at a cost. Without psychological safety, it’s impossible to do our best, most innovative work. When people feel safe to be themselves, they’re more engaged—and ultimately more productive. This holds true whether you're an employee or a board member: engagement is essential, regardless of the organisation. As the chair of two non-profits, I’ve always encouraged board members and management to connect on a deeper level—not just as professionals but also as individuals. We prioritised getting to know each other as people first. We were parents, partners, community members and individuals from diverse cultures, each with unique lived experiences. We learned who mattered to us and why. We valued the different motivations that inspired people to dedicate their precious time to the cause. Each person’s unique background brought an important perspective to the table, and we deeply respected that. Though our bank balances were modest, we brought something far more valuable: our authentic selves. This created a wealth of experience, commitment and goodwill that enriched our work and strengthened our collective mission.
The key is finding the balance: what does showing up authentically while maintaining professionalism look like? What are we losing when we leave our authentic selves at home?
Personal and professional alignment: a journey, not a destination
Authenticity isn’t something you achieve overnight—it’s an evolving process. I faced this first-hand several years ago, despite outward signs of success: executive roles, six-figure incomes and board memberships. I looked successful, but I felt disconnected from my true self. It wasn’t until I embraced the Being FrameworkTM—which emphasises aligning personal and professional values—that I found deeper fulfilment. I hadn’t realised how my decision to conform to what I believed was acceptable in the transportation sector had stifled my ability to express my true self. The cost was not fully embracing my authenticity.
The Being FrameworkTM helped me recognise the toll of maintaining a false persona—not just on my work life but on my overall wellbeing. The Being FrameworkTM is an engineered way of looking into our deeper qualities in a tangible, readily digestible way. It breaks down the universal traits we share as human beings while acknowledging the unique ways we relate to them. In particular, the framework’s Exposure Triangle supported me in examining the accuracy, congruence and clarity of my perceptions versus reality. When I delved into the Exposure Triangle’s core distinctions—awareness, vulnerability and authenticity—I realised I had been unconsciously suppressing my true self. I had constructed a story about why I couldn’t be authentic, convincing myself that vulnerability wasn’t an option. After all, being vulnerable might be perceived by others in my profession as a weakness when it is actually a strength. Understanding how awareness, vulnerability and authenticity interact transformed my experience of life. I began to feel more fulfilled, both in who I was and how I showed up—at work and at home.
Examining the misalignment of my persona and true self using the Exposure Triangle served as the gateway to reveal the impact of misalignment. For example, I unknowingly set aside my heritage in favour of adopting what I believed at the time was a more socially accepted White Anglo-Saxon Protestant (WASP) persona. Reconnecting with my cultural roots and embracing my unique leadership style has since provided me with a solid, authentic foundation for my life. This alignment has not only reignited my passion for my work but also delivered better results in my business—a testament to the transformative power of living authentically.
The office: where conformity and authenticity collide
Office culture plays a significant role in shaping how much of ourselves we bring to work. You’ve likely noticed the tension: some colleagues embrace playful desk decor—like Pat’s Beanie Baby collection or Tam’s foam basketball hoop—while others quietly roll their eyes. These playful expressions reflect the invisible and often unspoken rules of company culture. Norms, both good and bad, are shaped and reinforced by leadership. Because many of these markers exist beneath the surface, quietly influencing behaviour, there can be a disconnect between telling employees to “bring their whole selves to work” and actually fostering an environment that allows them to do so.
If you’re a leader who values engagement, you must create a culture of genuine psychological safety—and lead by example. What does that look like in practice? Start by asking yourself:
- Am I a role model for vulnerability?
- Do I encourage employees to be open by being open myself?
Reflect on the last time you truly connected with someone at work. Was it when they shared a deeply personal experience or emotion? Mike Robbins emphasises the importance of leaders “creating environments conducive to authenticity and humanity”. Leaders I coach often believe they must appear flawless. In reality, revealing your imperfections makes you more relatable and helps create a space where others feel comfortable opening up. This authenticity takes time and is worth the effort to build the connections that drive engagement and foster a thriving workplace culture.
The Authenticity Continuum: A framework for real connection
What does authenticity mean to you? Mike Robbins offers a helpful framework to explore authenticity in the workplace through his Authenticity Continuum:
Phony —---------------------- Honest —---------------------- Authentic
You may want to distance yourself from the ‘Phony’ end of the spectrum, but consider whether you’ve engaged in these common inauthentic behaviours:
- A colleague passes you in the hallway and asks, “How are you?” You respond, “Fine, thanks.” But is that true? Moments earlier, you received news that your role is being disestablished due to restructuring.
- During a presentation, the speaker introduces concepts completely unfamiliar to you. As your confusion grows, do you muster the courage to ask for clarification or stay silent, hoping no one notices?
- In a team meeting, everyone agrees on a decision. At the next meeting, there’s a complete reversal. Do you ask, “Why didn’t anyone speak up last week?” or do you stay quiet to avoid conflict?
Recognising what ‘Phony’ behaviours look like, how might ‘Honest’ responses differ in these scenarios?
- You reply to your colleague truthfully: “I’m not great, actually. I’m worried about how we’ll pay the mortgage and whether I’ll find another job.” Your honesty catches them off guard, leaving them unsure how to respond.
- During the presentation, you ask for an explanation. Despite the courage it took, you remain confused and are unsure how long to persist, knowing others are waiting to move on.
- You address the decision turnaround with your boss, pointing out how it undermines the team’s effectiveness. To your surprise, she takes your feedback as a criticism of her leadership.
These examples highlight a key truth: being honest doesn’t always lead to the outcomes we hope for. People bring their own interpretations, judgements and expectations into interactions. So, how can you be both honest and authentic? Robbins offers this equation:
Honesty - Self-Righteousness + Vulnerability = Authenticity
The equation intersects practically with the Being FrameworkTM. As discussed earlier, the Exposure Triangle incorporates awareness and vulnerability as essential elements of authenticity. Being authentic requires courage: the bravery to shed masks, fit in less and embrace vulnerability. At the same time, awareness ensures that your authenticity considers its impact on others while staying true to yourself.
Authenticity at work acknowledges that personal and professional lives are deeply interconnected. Trying to keep them separate can lead to burnout and disconnection. Start small: share a hobby, mention a family activity, or admit to a personal challenge. These moments of openness, especially when modelled by leaders, foster connection, trust and a healthier workplace culture.
Discovering your authentic self: unpacking the matryoshka doll
Finding authenticity is like peeling back the layers of a matryoshka doll. Each layer reveals deeper aspects of who you are—your cultural background, values and beliefs. Through this process, leaders and teams can uncover a profound sense of identity, moving beyond surface-level interactions to embrace authentic diversity. When people feel seen for their whole selves, they bring their best to both work and life.
So, how do you start unpacking your matryoshka doll? Begin by identifying one area where you can show up more authentically this week. If you're in a leadership role, take the Vulnerability Challenge: for the next ten days, commit to one act of vulnerability each day—whether it’s asking for help, admitting a mistake or sharing a personal insight. For those who consider vulnerability a weakness, the following distinction from the Being FrameworkTM will support you in seeing it as the strength it is.
“Vulnerability impacts how you relate to the concerns you have with respect to how you are being perceived or thought of in different situations. It is how you are being when confronted or exposed to perceived threats, ridicule, attacks or harm (emotional or physical). Vulnerability is not being weak, agreeable or submissive. It is when you embrace your imperfections. It is considered the quality of being with your authentic self without obsessive concern over the impression you make.”
What’s in your workbox?
Remember, what you bring to work will evolve over time. Who you are at 25 may differ greatly from who you are at 45 or 65. Your values, priorities and quirks are likely to change—and that’s okay. What matters is staying open to the process. If you’re curious to explore how authenticity isn’t about discovering some hidden truth but confronting who you choose to be, you may also be interested in ‘Finding Yourself’ Is Overrated. That said, some things never change. I’d bet good money that fifty years from now, when my grandkids head to work, their box will still contain a stapler. Because some things, it seems, are forever.
Bringing your whole self to work isn’t just about authenticity; it’s about embracing growth, connection and belonging. Start small, stay curious and take one step closer to being the most authentic version of yourself—whatever that looks like today.
Let’s talk about how we can reveal more of your beautiful self together. Book a discovery call here.