The Conventional View of Authenticity

The concept of authenticity is widely praised in the self-help and leadership world. It's often framed in motivational terms—encouraging people to express who they truly are, to “be themselves,” and to live in alignment with their values. There’s validity in this framing of authenticity; however, in the Being Framework, we distinguish authenticity differently.

Authenticity is how you relate to the reality of matters in life. It is the extent to which you are accurate and rigorous in perceiving what is real and what is not. It is also how sensitive and diligent you are to the validity of the knowledge you perceive. Authenticity is paramount for you to carefully consider that your conception of reality – including your beliefs and opinions – is congruent with how things are. When you are being authentic, you are compelled to express your Unique Being – what is there for you to express – while being consistent with who you say you are for others and who you say you are for yourself. It is the congruence or alignment of your self-image – who you know yourself to be – and your persona – who you choose to project to others.

A healthy relationship with authenticity indicates that you take the time to thoughtfully consider your beliefs and opinions, as the validity and accuracy of your conception of matters is important to you. You mostly experience yourself as being true to yourself and others. Others may consider you genuine, distinct and trustworthy, and that your actions are consistent with who and how you are and what you communicate.

An unhealthy relationship with authenticity indicates that there may be no solid foundation for your beliefs and opinions and how you choose to examine reality, and you are often lenient and fickle with how you express your views and the truth. You may consider yourself to be fake or an imposter and often question your own abilities. Others may consider you to be someone who lacks sincerity and often acts inconsistently with who you say you are. You are frequently uncomfortable with being yourself and being with yourself. Alternatively, you may be righteous, opinionated, biased or prejudiced, considering your ‘truth’ to be the only truth, and may be unwilling to give up being ‘right’.

Reference: Tashvir, A. (2021). BEING (p. 250). Engenesis Publications.

Instead of focusing solely on self-expression, we emphasise a deeper and more fundamental level of authenticity—one that extends beyond external behaviour to the congruence of one’s thoughts, beliefs, and self-image with reality itself. This is where the real challenge of authenticity lies.

Authenticity as a Competitive Edge in Business and Leadership

When working with high-performance teams and startup founders navigating growth and scaling, one of the most critical but least discussed factors is authenticity—not only in the surface-level sense of self-expression but also in the deeper sense of perceiving things in a way that is congruent with reality.

Authenticity, in this deeper sense, influences every aspect of a business:

• Understanding how the market actually responds to your product, rather than how you wish it would respond.
• Accurately assessing your competition instead of underestimating or overestimating them.
• Hiring people based on their real capabilities and alignment with your company, rather than your hopes or biases.

In short, the more an entrepreneur, leader, or professional aligns their perceptions with reality, the better their decisions will be. It’s akin to an engineer who must work with the actual laws of physics in order to design functional bridges or planes. If they base their calculations on incorrect assumptions, their structures will fail. The same principle applies in business and in life.

The Reality Check: Swallowing the Authenticity Pill

If only authenticity were a pill you could swallow—quick, painless, and instantly transforming you into your best self. But the truth is, it’s more like a long-term, gradual change to your diet that forces you to give up your comforting illusions.

Here’s the basic premise: The sharper and more accurate your perceptions of reality—both external (the world, your industry, your business) and internal (yourself, your capabilities, your limitations)—the more effective you will be.

However, embracing reality is not easy. Unlike a computer or AI system that can instantly correct an error in a split second without hesitation, human beings don’t work that way. We have emotions, stories, fears, and judgments. When faced with evidence that contradicts a long-held belief, we don’t simply adjust; we often resist.

This is what I call "swallowing the authenticity pill." It’s the process of accepting difficult truths, letting go of outdated or inaccurate perceptions, and allowing ourselves to realign with what’s actually happening. The challenge is not just identifying an inauthentic belief—it’s dealing with the emotions that arise when we realise we’ve held that belief for years.

The Emotional Challenge of Letting Go

Discovering that we’ve been operating under a false belief for a long time is rarely a neutral experience. It’s like waking up and realising the map you’ve been following for years has errors. The destinations you aimed for? Misplaced. The shortcuts you trusted? Dead ends. 

This realisation cuts deep and can trigger a mix of emotions:

• Hope and excitement. You’ve uncovered an insight that can make you more effective, help you grow, and move you forward. You’ve just taken a major leap toward fulfilling your objective.
• Relief. You’ve finally identified the issue or ‘bug’ that had been blocking your progress all this time. It’s no longer a mystery!
• Shame and betrayal. How could I have fooled myself for so long? How did I not see this sooner?
• Anxiety and self-doubt. If I accept this new reality, what else might I need to rethink? Can I even trust myself?

For some, this experience is so uncomfortable that they avoid it altogether. They double down on old beliefs, rationalising them instead of updating them. This is why true authenticity—being in alignment with reality—requires courage and forgiveness. It demands that we not only seek truth but that we are willing to endure the discomfort that comes with it.

It’s important to acknowledge that this is a natural process—we’re all human. The reality is that growth requires gradually identifying the parts of reality we’ve distorted or ignored and refining them one by one. There is no alternative path.

While navigating this process alone can be challenging, a true coach, mentor or advisor isn’t there to validate your perspective; they’re there to challenge it. If your support system only reinforces your existing worldview, it’s not helping you grow—it’s just keeping you comfortable. 

Why This Matters for Entrepreneurs and Leaders

For entrepreneurs and leaders, this process is unavoidable. The ability to adapt to reality determines success. The market doesn’t care about your assumptions—it responds based on what is actually valuable. Employees don’t perform based on how you want them to; they perform based on their real skills, motivations, and working conditions.

And yet, many founders struggle to acknowledge these realities in real time. It’s painful to admit that a strategy isn’t working, that a hire was a mistake, or that an assumption about customer behaviour was wrong. But failing to swallow the authenticity pill early means running into even greater challenges later.

Through my work with over 800 startups and innovative companies, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative this process can be. It’s never easy, but those who embrace it—those who are willing to adjust their worldview when reality demands it—are the ones who grow the most.

Building the Support System for Authenticity

If you’re going through this process, know that you’re not alone. Authenticity, in the deepest sense, is a continuous journey. Every entrepreneur, every leader, and every person striving for growth will face moments where they must confront uncomfortable truths and make adjustments.

Having a support system—whether through a mentor, coach, or advisor—along with a structured framework like the Being Framework, which provides ways to articulate and cultivate shared understanding with others about your experiences, and a community that values deep awareness, authenticity, and vulnerability, can make all the difference. When the process feels overwhelming, it’s important to remember that refining your understanding of reality is not a failure. It’s progress.

Concluding Thoughts

Swallowing the authenticity pill is one of the most powerful things you can do. It enables you to see with greater clarity, make better decisions, and ultimately become more effective in your work and life. But it requires an acceptance of discomfort, a willingness to acknowledge past mistakes, and a mindset that prioritises reality over convenience.

Leaders who embrace this kind of authenticity make sharper decisions, adapt faster, and—ironically—gain the freedom that those clinging to illusions never will. And the best part? You don’t have to do it alone.